Through Darkest Zymurgia!

"I realize it is vulgar to discuss business at the breakfast table; I beg your forgiveness." Young Frederick paused. "You are probably unaware, Professor Carbuncle, that 'Fox' is not my real name." Carbuncle raised one eyebrow. "My parents named me Frederick Forsythe." Carbuncle raised the other eyebrow. "I am also an employee of my father's company, the Mercantile Bank of Pelham and Bundyal."

"How astonishing," said Carbuncle dryly.

"I see," said Frederick, looking reproachfully at me.

"I had to tell someone, Frederick. And besides, I had spoken of you to Thomas when you were a student of mine."

"No matter. Gentlemen, under the terms of your warrants, you and Dr. Philpott are entitled to any profits made from the sale of Basenis phantasms. I would like to buy your working model. In addition, I'd like you to agree not to build any more."

"What?" I exclaimed. "How impertinent he is, Thomas. Why should we agree to any such thing?"

Carbuncle looked uncomfortable, as I could well understand. His models are his pets. "I suppose, having bought my model, you intend to pay others to duplicate it?"

"On the contrary." Fox--nay, Forsythe--smiled brightly at the two of us. "I wish to guarantee that no such phantasm ever leaves Zymurgia."

"And you'll pay us to ensure this? What ever for?" I confess, I was mystified.

At that, Forsythe put his hands flat on the table and leaned forward.

"Dr. Thintwhistle, Professor Carbuncle, you see before you the head of the newly-formed Zymurgian Trading Company. I have just come to an agreement with the Zymurgian council regarding the future dispersal of the Waters of Basenis. I intend to disperse them farther and in greater quantities than they have ever been dispersed before."

"What future dispersal? Basenis is going to be starved to death," I observed sourly.

"I think you will find that that is not to be the case. Entombed, yes; they won't take the risk of letting him run loose. Yet he is quite a large deity, and man-sized doorways are quite sufficient to provide for his wants."

Carbuncle was nodding. "So you've persuaded them to let you disperse the waters throughout all the Lands Below, is that it? What do they get in return?"

"Access to a variety of trade goods from Angland and other countries. I expect that tools and other household phantasms will be especially popular."

Carbuncle grunted in reponse. "So, where does my model come into it?"

"I judge that the market for the Waters of Basenis is quite large," replied Forsythe seriously. "Yet suppose each of those potential customers could produce his own beer at a cost of a few clippings? Every countryman would be a potential competitor. I can sell one man a pint of Zymurgian beer over and over, but I can sell him his own brewery only once. No, sir, I would rather see your model of Basenis properly disposed of."

"You are quite aware, are you, that my model has never been activated?" asked Carbuncle, looking Forsythe directly in the eye.

"More than that, I am content that it should remain so."

"And how do you propose to make this worth our while?" I asked. "Bear in mind that you must satisfy Philpott as well. We won't make any agreement that excludes him."

"I have already come to an agreement with Dr. Philpott. As for the two of you, I would like to make you shareholders in the new company. You would each receive five percent holdings."

"Only five percent?"

"Now, Leon, five percent seems more than fair to me," said Carbuncle. I looked at him in some surprise. "After all, we would not be involved in the day-to-day operations of the company, nor are we putting up any capital. In essence, we are being paid not to cause trouble. If the company succeeds, and how can it not with such a fine product and such an able manager, it must necessarily make us rich. I think we should accept."

"You do?" I sat back and looked at him blankly. "Frederick, what arrangements did you make with Philpott?"

"I agreed to clear his father's debts. In addition, Dr. Philpott is joining the company. He will be heading our offices in Tomar."

"Philpott is staying in Zymurgia? But why?"

"Perhaps you had better ask him that question yourself," replied Forsythe. "Now, have we a deal?" I nodded helplessly, and in a few minutes I had signed my name to a document naming me the owner of a one-twentieth share of the Zymurgian Trading Company.

After the events of that morning, there was no further need to stay in Basenis Basor. The council was eager for Frederick to return to the Lands Below and get the trade going, though not, I think, as eager as he was to begin it. By signing his name, Carbuncle had agreed not to pursue his investigations into Basenis' nature any further, and thus had no desire to remain; and I need hardly say that the rest of us had tired of the Holy City weeks earlier. Nor had the council any reason to detain us, once Carbuncle had divulged his scheme for muzzling Basenis permanently. On the contrary, they were glad to see us depart, with our donkeys and our dog and our odd, wizardly ways. Within twenty-four hours we were plodding north along the main boulevard toward the edge of the city.

To our mixed joy and sorrow, Mukden remained behind. The prestige of the Masters of Tomar, which had fallen so low over the matter of Nabili as to prevent Mukden and Asha from having any place in the new council, was greatly restored. It was young Frederick's doing; in his deal with the council he demanded that Tomar would remain the gateway to the Lands Below, and that all trade would pass through the Tomarens' hands. In all fairness, I must say that I was on the whole pleased with Frederick, however repellent I might find his grasping nature. He had treated Philpott, Carbuncle, and myself quite fairly, and had also guaranteed that Tomar, the home of his friends, would take its rightful place among the towns of Zymurgia. He might easily have accomplished his desires without considering us at all.

I never asked Philpott why he was staying in Zymurgia, as there was no need. I had gone immediately in search of him, of course, to make enquiries, but when I found him sitting on a bench on the roof, hand-in-hand with Asha, I tabled my queries indefinitely. A young man and and a young woman thrown constantly together; the man handsome, virile, exotic; the woman beautiful, intelligent, adventurous; how could love, however ill-advised, fail to blossom between them? So I had asked myself in Tomar, when indeed the seeds of love had not yet sprouted. Philpott had disavowed any tender feelings, and I had therefore assumed that no such feelings would develop. Evidently the road and our enforced sojourn in Basenis Basor had been more fertile ground for romance. As much a victim of my preconceptions as ever, I had failed to see what was happening even while observing it daily. Ah, well.

In due course we arrived in Tomar, after a journey remarkably untarnished by snakes, toads, or bears in the night. There was a festival in honor of our return, of course, two solid days of feasting in the town square punctuated by laughter and many cries of "Gooneybah! Gooneybah!" The children of Tomar, at least, would remember the wizards from the Lands Below with fondness. And then, true to my resolution, we took the donkeys on down the trail to the Lake of Saco. On the thirty-first of Aughtnever we slept in our own cabins aboard the Sea-Spaniel for the first time in fully three months. I confess I had approached the lake in some trepidation, for fear that another writ-server had made it so far up the river and claimed the Spaniel. Nor am I certain that none tried, but if writ-servers there were during our absence I never heard of it from Captain Halvorsen or his crew. Our arrival was inevitably followed by another day of feasting to celebrate Cadbury's return home.

I had few regrets in leaving the Land Above; if I had failed to chart the course of the mighty Aram to its headwaters in Zymurgia, that was merely because I had charted other parts of the country. Indeed, I am not certain whether I could have charted the river in any event; by all Zymurgian accounts, the Upper Aram is a swift, shallow, rocky stream, unsuited for any kind of river transport, and the banks of the Aram are no more easily passable, as it lies in a gorge as often as not. I had taken many measurements which might serve to illustrate the actions of the Law of Consensus; and most importantly we had travelled further into Zymurgia than perhaps any outsiders before us had ever done. It was enough to be going on with. Moreover Dean Nuftison was expecting us in time for the Winter Term. Despite our potential future wealth, Carbuncle and I had no desire to distress the good dean unduly. Taken all-in-all, it was time to go home. In the early days of the month of Upover we set forth down the mighty Aram for the open sea.

Sensitive to the possibility that writs for the Spaniel's seizure might still be in circulation, we bypassed Phillipi in the night. Young Frederick had promised to deal with any such that we encountered; nevertheless, we wished to keep the number of confrontations to a minimum. From Lyricum Town Frederick could send a communique to the bank headquarters in Pelham, thus ensuring that we would make a peaceful landfall in Angland. To Lyricum Town we proceeded with all dispatch, therefore, arriving there on the 20th of Upover. It was a delightful passage, as indeed are all sea-voyages in good weather, and it was enlivened by the presence of Philpott's bride-to-be. Like her namesake of old, Asha had stoutly refused to remain at home while her man travelled afar in the Lands Below. I do not believe Philpott made more than a token resistance; far from it, he was eager to show Asha his home country, and to introduce her to his father.

From this angle, a stopover in Lyricum was almost a necessity. Asha's usual garments, while modest and attractive, would be considered most unseemly in Pelham even if the weather permitted their use. During the days we spent in Lyricum Town, the couple were able to procure fine gowns and other garments such as fashionable Anglish ladies wear; indeed, as the fashion in Pelham always trails the fashion in Lyricum, Asha would be rather better dressed than any Anglishwoman who dared to snub her or condescend to her on account of her skin.