Through Darkest Zymurgia!

The rest of the week passed much as I have already indicated. Carbuncle tinkered with the chiller, which had been rather distraught but not otherwise harmed. I napped when I could, and endured tedious conversation when I must. Philpott and Hodgins continued their revels among the lower classes, and Baxter continued as efficient as ever. The day before the Sea-Spaniel was to be ready for sea, he came to me with a communique.

"I gather it arrived about two weeks before we did, sir. It's been gathering dust in one of the admiral's secretary's pigeonholes."

I looked at the envelope with a mixture of curiousity and apprehension. It was, of course, from Dean Nuftison, and had clearly been sent at the same time as the one I had disposed of in the Bay of Biscotti. That, at least, was a good sign. It meant that he hadn't been sure of catching us in Lyricum Town. On the other hand, it was a bad sign. It meant that he wasn't simply urging me to get out of Lyricum and on with business. Moreover, it was a matter of some importance. I sighed.

"I suppose I'd better read this one, Baxter." I opened the envelope, and pulled out the folded communique form. I turned it over in my hands, still tempted to shred it unread. I will be everlastingly glad that I did not.

On the face of it, it was a baffling message: "LUTON BANKRUPT. RETURN AT ONCE. NUFTISON." I supposed that "LUTON" was the Earl of Luton, which seemed rather hard luck on young Philpott. What I failed to see was how it affected the expedition. After all, it had already been paid for, hadn't it? I knew that the University would not let a bankruptcy come between it and funds legally donated. I certainly saw no reason for a return to Angland. It was puzzling.

"It's puzzling, Baxter," I said. "I can't see why Nuftison would send such a thing."

"I'm sure I can't say, sir.", he replied.

That afternoon things became much clearer. I was reclining in a chaise on the terrace when Hodgins approached me. "Ah, Hodgins," I cried, "There you are. Where's young Thaddeus?"

"Dr. Philpott is still in the sailor's village, sir, with friends." said Hodgins.

"Friends, Hodgins? In the sailor's village?"

"Yes, sir. Dr. Philpott is a friendly gentleman, sir."

"Yes, he is that." I looked closer at Hodgins. He was looking at me uncertainly, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "What is it, Hodgins?"

"It may be nothing, sir." He frowned. "There's been a man asking after the Spaniel down in the village."

"What kind of a man, Hodgins?"

"A smarmy little fellow, sir. He arrived this morning on a merchantman, and immediately started asking about the Spaniel, and about Captain Halvorsen in particular. He seemed to be carrying a piece of parchment, sir."

"Parchment, is it?" Things began to drop into place. "Tell me, Hodgins, did he get to see Captain Halvorsen?"

"No, sir. The captain's been at the navy yard all day, getting the Spaniel ready for sea. The man tried to get in to see him, but the sentries saw to him. They didn't like his looks either." Hodgins smirked. "When he came into the bar where Thad and--where Dr. Philpott and I were seated, he was walking rather stiffly, sir, and I noticed he didn't sit down."

I waved Hodgins to a chair, and thought furiously. Could it be? Would it be worth it? I contemplated the palatial nature of the Spaniel, and concluded that it would be. At length I nodded, and said, "You say you and young Thaddeus have made friends in the village, Hodgins?"

"Yes, sir."

"Sporting lads, are they? Ready for an innocent bit of fun?"

"Oh, yes, sir."

"What I'd like you to do is this, Hodgins. I'd like the smarmy little fellow to make some new friends. I want him to drink his fill. And furthermore, I don't want him to see the light of day until after we've sailed tomorrow." Hodgins was smiling broadly at this.

"I think that would be easily done, sir, given sufficient funds. They aren't a well-off lot, down the village," he said.

"Very good, Hodgins." I pulled some silver from my pocket, and handed it to him. "Will that do?"

"I think it will suffice, sir."

"Very good. And Hodgins..." I looked at him intently. "I want that parchment burnt. If your friends would be so good as to make sure that he has no other copies, so much the better."

"Understood, sir, well understood."

"And after you've seen to that, Hodgins, hie yourself to the navy yard, and find Captain Halvorsen. Tell him, with my compliments, that he'd better sleep aboard the Spaniel tonight; I'll see that his belongings are brought on board tomorrow. Tell him to stay out of sight as much as possible."

Perhaps I was being over-cautious, but on the whole I thought not. Too many things were making sense.

Hodgins was as good as his word. When the "ship's gig" took us back down the hill to the docks the following morning, the ship was there, but Captain Halvorsen was nowhere to be seen. More to the point, a fierce-looking seamen was stationed at the foot of the gang-plank. I gathered that no strangers would be boarding the Spaniel.

Philpott and Hodgins had, as usual, been nowhere to be seen that morning, but their kits were packed and waiting in the hall, and had come along with us in the wagon. As I boarded, I fancied I heard, off in the distance, the heartfelt strains of Ladies of Hades. Closer examination revealed the two slovenly singers as the two prodigals.

Philpott was indeed a sight. His shirt was torn and stained, his collar was afly, his trousers were most marvelously spattered, and the heel of his right boot had gone. His hands and face were cut and bruised, and one eye was almost swollen shut. His companion was similarly accoutred. They had their arms about each other's shoulders, and were staggering forward in time with their singing, pausing a moment and rising to their full heights each time they reached the chorus.

Oh-OH,
Those ladies of Hades are supple and sweet
And friendlier lassies you seldom will meet.
They'll dispose of your troubles, my friends, and what's MORE--
They'll empty your pockets and show you the door!

"Good God, Philpott, whatever have you been doing?" I was shocked.

"Brawling, Leon," he said happily. His speech was none too clear. "I'm greatly honored."

"Honored? Half-murdered, more like!" I cried, pulling him toward the sickberth.

"Honored!" he shouted. "It wasn't my fight, y'see, but the natives let me help anyway. It's part of their folkways."

"Philpott, you're not well. Just settle down here, and we'll find you something to calm you down."

"Folkways, Leon! It's part of their culture. When somebody tries to steal your girl, you have to take steps."

"And did someone try to steal your girl, Thad?" I asked gently. I would have to speak harshly to Hodgins, I feared.

"Oh, not my girl...it was Throckmorton's girl. It was Throckmorton's girl, wasn't it, Bill?"

"That it was," said Hodgins.

Philpott settled down on the bunk, smiling, and then winced. He touched his swollen eye gently, and then smiled again. "When that smarmy little guy tried to get cozy with Throckmorton's girl, well, something had to be done. That's how their culture works, isn't it, Bill."

"That it is," said Hodgins. "And when the Admiral's men came to break it up, why, it was clear to everyone that the smarmy little guy was the cause of it. He's locked up right and proper, sir. Though I'm not sure he's aware of it, yet. He was fairly horizontal when they carried him out."

By this time I'd gotten Philpott something to drink, with a little extra added, and he was curled up on the bunk, snoring.

"I see, Hodgins. And the parchment?"

"So many ashes, sir."

"Thank you, Hodgins, good work. But couldn't you have handled it less violently?"

"He so wanted to see a brawl, sir."

"I see, Hodgins. I see." I dismissed Hodgins to his hammock, and went to see the captain. I found him in his cabin.

"Dr. Thintwhistle," he said, looking up from the charts that covered his desk. "I have done what you asked. Now, perhaps you would be so kind as to explain." His voice was devoid of expression.

"I take it," I said, "That the Sea-Spaniel belongs to the Earl of Luton?"

"And if it does?" asked the captain stiffly.

I handed him the communique from Dean Nuftison. In other circumstances, it might have been interesting to watch the color drain from his face. He looked at me in wild surmise.

"A man arrived on the island yesterday, Captain Halvorsen, asking about the Spaniel and for you in particular. Fortunately, the guards at the navy yard refused him entry, or we would of necessity be returning to Angland even now."

"What happened to him?"

"I gather--I wasn't involved, of course--that while waiting in one of the bars in the sailor's village he annoyed the wrong man. There was an altercation, and he's now in the admiral's lock-up, sleeping it off." Halvorsen continued to stare at me without speaking, so I went on. "I have it on good authority that the parchment he was carrying has been destroyed." At that, Halvorsen relaxed and wiped his brow.

"I see. What do you expect me to do?"

"That all depends on you, captain, and on your loyalty to the Earl and his family. You are, if you wish, free to set course for Pelham, and deliver the Spaniel and her contents up to the Earl's creditors. That would no doubt be preferable to bringing her home at the word of a smarmy little writ-server. On the other hand, you have had no official notice of the Earl's plight."

"And so?"

"If we were to continue on the expedition, it is hard to say what interesting, and possibly lucrative discoveries we might find." At this point I related the story of Dr. Elliot and the Eternal Flame. "Young Thaddeus would, of course, come in for a share of any earnings. I won't mislead you--it's unlikely in the extreme, but it isn't impossible. If something like the Eternal Flame were discovered and brought home, though, Philpott, Carbuncle and I would all be wealthy men. Far better to return to Pelham as heroes, I'd say. Not to mention the loss to the scientific community if the expedition were to be cancelled."

The captain looked away for a few moments. He pursed his lips, and stared off into space, and then nodded his head. "I quite agree, Dr. Thintwhistle. The scientific importance of this mission is such that it must not be endangered on hearsay evidence. If I had had word from the Earl himself, you understand, my decision would be different."

"Capital," I said. "I knew I could rely on you, captain. Now, there remains the matter of Phillipi. It is entirely possible, and indeed likely, that we will find another writ-server waiting for us there."

"Do not worry yourself, doctor. I shall take every care to get us up the river to the plateau of Zymurgia."

I took my leave, and within minutes we had left Cuprios Harbor. As I watched the village and castle diminish in the distance, I wondered whether Philpott's friends had left the smarmy little fellow passage home, or whether he must needs become, as Philpott put it, a 'native'.